Been A While..

Perhaps it is time to revive this little piece of virtual paper where I work on

improving my writing skills while pondering what needs to be pondered upon...

I will do my best to keep it alive (No Promises) and keep the subject

matter interesting and yet thought provoking..

For those of you who are asking why the blazes I ask so many questions

or even try to make you think – ‘Be on your way pheasants.. you have

no business reading my blog’

If a bird was a bird, can you think of any reason not to say that it was a bird?

Or.. if you found someone nice, someone's clothes pretty and a picture beautiful.. can you think of any reason not to actually say they are so? Obvious and common reasons I mean- not really obscure and situation-specific reasons.
On the other hand, if you found someone's hand writing completely illegible, their sense of dressing appalling and their argument specious... why would you come up with reasons not to say they are so?

Why do we humans need to find motives to lie to each other? Especially when all parties involved already know what the reality is. Sure - to be considerate of others' feelings? to be polite? to nurture and love? to not damage another's self-confidence and image?
but WHY would telling someone the truth about things, be negative in any way?? if society hadn't stepped in a long time ago and taught us all that we HAD to be humiliated and embarrassed when we made mistakes.. I'm guessing this wouldn't be the case. We could all say what we wished to and what we thought without any repercussions, punishments or "damage" done.

Instead, the person who indiscriminately speaks the truth regardless of audience or consequence is really the 'bad guy' isn't he?
< For those of you who are grinning about my allusions to the philosophy of a certain crippled medicine man.. I've pondered about this for so long, he only added dialoguefulls of fuel>

We're told and taught that lying to 'protect' others was the right thing to do - it was supposed to show that we actually cared. In 'WTDTYAHBS', Mark McCormack implores us to gauge and judge our audience to know what they want to hear.. then all we need to do is feed them sweet & pretty little lace-fringed lies and we'll be the ones on top. Negotiation and Business is probably a completely different ballgame, I'm drawing the parallel here to showcase just how much of this people use in real life.

I'm not saying lying is all sinful and the 'wrong' thing to do etc. Lie by all means, but why unnecessarily?? when you can just as well say the truth. So you're going to argue about what situations are considered unnecessary? Oh come now, any rational human being can identify that - it's a basic flaw that a human being can separate the blacks and whites where there is no grey.

A lovely piece of dialogue -
'You know why people are nice to other people?'
'Oh, I know this one. Because people are good, decent and caring. Either that, or people are cowards. If I’m mean to you, you’ll be mean to me. Mutually assured destruction.'

It is just so. Telling someone a lie when you could tell them the whole truth is quite a cowardly act. You don't want someone NOT to like you- somehow it means you're a bad person and that something is wrong with you just because this person starts harboring a grudge against you. You didn't make them feel all warm and cuddly, you chose instead to talk reality and they hate you for that. You can't take that can you? You're responsible for their insecurity, not to mention your own too.

Doesn't it boil down to that basic fact? Nothing should be said to another person that makes them feel anything but nice- even if it's the most obvious fact. What's wrong with saying it? Why say it when it's obvious? why the hell not? why waste time and effort? Why should someone else's lack of confidence and need for assurance stop you from just stating the fact??

..... My sentiments perfectly expressed:-

The good he acts, the ill he does endure,
'Tis all from fear, to make himself secure.
Merely for safety, after fame we thirst,
For all men would be cowards if they durst.

And honesty's against all common sense:
Men must be knaves, 'tis in their own defence.
Mankind's dishonest; if you think it fair
Among known cheats to play upon the square,
You'll be undone.

Nor can weak truth your reputation save:
The knaves will all agree to call you knave.
Wronged shall he live, insulted o'er, oppressed,
Who dares be less a villain than the rest.

Given an ideal society - in saying ideal, I do not refer to the 'goodness' of people or lack of petty behaviour and crime - I mean one in which every member is treated alike and have similar if not the same experiences growing up. Every being lives and dies in the same environment, feels and experiences the same situations and is presented with the same circumstances.
Yes, yes I know - it would be insane.
But were it thus..... Do you think it would be safe to assume that each individual's personality, reactions and philosophy about life would be the same?

These things are known to be influenced by the experiences we go through in life, the people we meet and places we see. In fact, it may even be said that emotions and feelings- expressed or repressed - are reactions that have now become second nature to a person, but once had to be learned or programmed into our subconscious. What we feel today are reactions we have developed and are comfortable with and have adopted over the course of time. Time that was molded by all our past experiences.

Hence, if these experiences were the same for two or more people.. Would they naturally develop the same reactions and emotions to the same situations?
Would they all reach the same conclusions and make the same decisions?

or would one of you argue for the power and inevitability of individuality?
I haven't forgotten.. We all remember Equality 7-2521 laments his inborn eagerness to think, question and his 'unwillingness to give up self'.But we are not talking about a forced collectivism or a dictated society.

By chance rather than design, where every man experiences only and no more than the other man. Every man has and wants/needs only and no more than the other.
And again, I do not care of genius or of innovations and discoveries.. such as the guitar in 2112, electricity in Anthem and perhaps truth in 1984.
I am thinking about our mundane, everyday feelings and decisions, common conclusions and basic judgments. Everyman’s outlook on life, his values, beliefs and attitude... Would they be the same too? Or would you rather believe man is made thus to break free naturally of any communal behaviour or thought?

Even then, I would ask - would his basic sentiments and responses be the same as his fellow being as they have had exposure to only the same events and state of affairs?

How do you know if what you are doing is the right thing or not?
Many times we make decisions- decisions that we've made after some amount of deliberation and reaching conclusions about the best thing to do under circumstances- but remain forever uncertain if we should have actually taken another turn, another path perhaps..
A point to note- these decisions in question affect only self- not anyone around, so the obvious Gandhian philosophy of weighing our actions to see if it helps or hinders another man is but immaterial.
An inevitable fact - every decision an individual makes is going to be viewed and evaluated differently by every other person around him or her.
Hence how does one actually know if the action was right for him or her.
An easy answer may be to say - if it makes your life easier.. but the correct thing to do does not always make life easier does it? the opposite quite often.
So maybe, an action that you don't regret? Not humanly possible.. the best of decisions and choices will still leave a minute amount of dissatisfaction or feeling of discord ( ' what if it could have been better') in us. We are but human - we can't help but wish for perfection.

Or should this just be resolved by the non-decision of .. ' we'll just never know- do the best and hope for the best' ? .. But that is neither an argument, nor a standpoint ..Hell, not even a valid point.

What would be ways for one to convince oneself that what accord one has reached and what action one has taken was the right one indeed? Never mind the second, third and tenth thoughts one has afterwards...

Why are people so eager to 'label' others? Why do they need to know exactly what another person is and 'classify' them into some kind of category or maybe try and compulsorily understand another's behaviour?
It's never easy for one person to justify somebody's actions or try and form a reason out of what they think they know about that individual. And it's definitely illogical to even believe that they comprehend another's rationale by merely what they observe.
Yet we see .... everybody around is constantly trying to brand and describe everybody around them.
Why is it such an unavoidable human tendency to strive to identify every man one meets or interacts with? Is it merely a complex? A reasoning that if we can characterize someone else, especially how we want to characterize them, then we are safe? Safe from any threat from them? Safe from feeling insecure due to them?
How often does one jump to conclusions about someone without actually speaking to that person and trying to appreciate their singularity by what one sees first hand?
and How often does one come to assumptions about someone from afar?

What kind of diffidence is it that makes one feel superior, satisfied.. and more often than not.. relieved that they can 'place' another person? And how difficult is it to try and understand or just give leave to that person without feeling compelled to label them.
There is no one who can claim not having done this at some point of time or another in their lives.

On the other hand .. How many of worry so much about what others think of us that very soon we stop being ourselves as we really wish to be, but start being that person that we want others to see us as.
It is mistakenly fashionable to say that we do not really care about others opinion of us and that we do only what we would otherwise...
One moment of thought.. and its easy to realise how easily one can mislead oneself.. That we need to be placed, just as badly as we need to place another. These two common traits of a human being are somehow closely interlinked.
We brand another to feel better about ourselves, and try and be someone that others may brand favourably.. more favourably in fact that you would wish for them.

I wonder how difficult it is to simply know someone and not contend to bracket them as soon as is possible.. to simply know another and know oneself for what is and what is not and be content wholly with it .. rather than size up another based on yourself.. and yourself based on another....

There are two of us in each one of us.
One which we know/think we know we are. The second, which we want to be or should be. Hence it follows, that there are two kinds of people in this world; one who are happy with knowing what they are and do not want to be anything else, and the other, who are always unhappy with what they are and keep trying to become what they should rather be. Of course if there is a third category who have completely mastered what they should ideally be, hats off to them.. but humans are very rarely so self-satisfied.
There are many who proclaim quite loudly that they are extremely happy being themselves and do not see any need to change.. :-) but if that is so.. there would be no need to proclaim at all. Being honest, if we ask ourselves whether we don't think or have not thought at any instant that we need to change something in us, or be /feel something else, the answer is more often than not, a yes.
So.. the question is- what is wrong in accepting that we are not perfect? That there are some pieces of us we might want to improve or change and some other pieces that we are completely at peace with? A man and his mind are but a life size puzzle that we put together during the course of life. We might get something wrong the first time, and may be forced to refit it for another piece to fall in place.
So, once identified what it is that we wish we were, do you think it is merely a matter of molding that we can rest happy with ourselves? There is a lot to contend with- How badly you want to be what you wish you were, how much trouble it actually is , how insecure you are going to be during this mold-shifting and so many more entangled thoughts and apprehensions.

Some people feel they should just sit back, relax and enjoy life as it is and as they are, some people believe they should constantly improve and innovate themselves in order to enjoy life to the maximum.. and there are yet others who can't decide which one they really ought to belong to and spend their time vacillating between the two. Now, what is wrong with that ?? They enjoy sometimes, they improve sometimes, they relax sometimes, they strive sometimes, they are insecure sometimes, they are confident sometimes.. well.. this breed seems to be as unpredictable as life itself. Who knows what may trigger which part of them?

Here's to all kinds of people who inhabit the earth!

What is it in the human mind that makes us lust after things that are just beyond our reach? Things and emotions that somehow seem not to be meant for us in just how unattainable it is..
Aren't most of us always chasing after those things and convincing ourselves that 'if only we could have that.. all our problems would be solved'. Yes.. it is a case of sour grapes..Yes.. it is common to envy what another has.. and Yes again..it is just a way to palm off the 'blame' on something other than ourselves for what we feel and want.
But.. I am looking for a reason besides these common ones..
That which will give us reason for when we feel that our happiness depends not on ourselves ( which it does), but on some external situation - something that makes us unhappy or hurts us.. that our sorrow depends on others and their actions and that our dissatisfaction depends on what and who we don't have or know, rather than what or who we have and know.

There is something deeper within.. that comes out during bad times and reminds us of all things that we ought not to think of or remember about. Yes.. its the known devil playing his part in the intricacies of human emotions.. complicating it further by adding a copious amount of negativism..... but that is not the reason I look for..
There is an ache sometimes within us that cloys at every part of our being.. and fills our minds with thoughts of them and that, which we have not. Why does it not tame with rationale? Why cannot it forgo these lusts and stay calm instead?
I need not an analysis of character nor happiness nor positive thought.. nor any salve as it is but a basic fallacy of the mind.. whether acknowledged or not.
But.. What makes us yearn for all that we cannot have at that one moment? Emotions & otherwise..